The King of the Blogs Challenge:

“You have just been chosen as the King of the Blogs. Write a speech beginning you[r] reign of terror.”

My adoring, ingratiating vassalsprecious citizens, hearken now your ears to the speech of your beloved King:

“Thank you to all my loyal subjects for fulfilling your responsibility and making the only choice you ought to make. For this dutiful act in our democratic monarchy of sorts, I commend you all for the courage and wisdom to act so wisely and justly for accepting my bribes, shameless pleas and cajoling, and electing me as your rightful Potentate, Master and Overlord, the King of the Blogs.

Now, my dear subjects, come and pay me due homage. Visit my blog every morning and night, leave me glowing comments of awe and obeisance, link to me and be my adoring fans. From henceforth, I decree that all those who voted for me will get extra points in the ecosystem so that your blogs ratings are bumped up automagically.

A monarchy’s court will not be complete without its ministers, so I wish to announce the appointment as my Cabinet.

The Joint Chief Ministers are: Patriot Paradox and ChristWeb. Minister of Justice, Law and DisOrder, The Smarter Cop, Minister of Culture, Sports and Other Fun Things Harvey of Bad Example and Minister of Information, Education and All Sorts of (Other) MisInformation, Songstress. (I heard about the ploy of enlisting these team of powerful folks can help bolster your reign, so I am shamelessly doing my best to promote them for the sake of a few pointsAs I am sure you can all discern, it is indeed a very prudent move to select the wisest of the wise in Blogosphere to help me in my reign).

Of course, no Cabinet can be complete without Ministers without Portfolios. For their courage to go against me, I would like to appoint them Joint Ministers Without Portfolios, the Radical Centrist and Randomness. They can now enjoy the glory and honor of their ministerial positions without lifting a finger to do anything.

Now, people, people! Don’t you start accusing me of deviously making these appointments to avoid any repercussions, backlash or revolt. Don’t you believe such nonsense! I am, you will soon find, a wise-like-Solomon type of king and a kind-and-forgiving-like-David type of Ruler. As long as you are nice to me, and do everything I say, you will find that to be true. But if any shall disobey you will suffer the consequences of joining me at my office, under my toxic boss.

As this is a vast domain, I urge you my fellow subjects to spread the news of this new and glorious Dynasty and Rulership far and wide, and so, link and trackback to this post as much as possible so that the news is spread to the ends of the internet, and all bloggers may come by here to pay me their due homage.

Every kingdom desires to make an impact and leave a legacy, and so as Ruler of Blogosphere, I would work with you to make this a better world, starting with a massive campaign to build Parents’ Rest Rooms in Every Mall in the Free World. Or failing that, I will empower every father of young girls to go boldly where no man (except for one foolhardy one who has somewhat mellowed now) has gone before. When this is accomplished, my Reign would have made its impact on the world.

But for now, do your duty O loyal citizen. Leave your comments of support, link to the post and spread the news far and wide that His Blogginess Majesty has come to bring Peace, Happiness, Joy, Justice, and Goodwill throughout Blogosphere and yea, the World! Most important of all, don’t forget to go here to vote and trackback to that post. Hurry for see, there is a prize to be won!”

(As the King sits down on his throne, holding up one hand, and giving the Royal Wave by a Slow and Majestic Roll of the Wrist, thundering applause and adulation of the Blogosphere masses can be heard reverberating through the Internet.)