The past few months I have been reading and reflecting on the book of Job. The story of Job has been a little troublesome for me. I mentioned some of these questions in an earlier post about the Lord’s Prayer against leading into temptation and delivery from evil.

Some of these questions are:

• Why did God instigate Satan to turn against Job?

God seemed to deliberately single out Job because he was a just man. Was it because God was trying to attract Satan’s attention to Job because He thought Job of all people could withstand the trials and tribulations? Is it the case that the more faithful you are to God the more He will throw you into the lion’s den, the fish’s belly and the depths of the valley? Did Job come out of the testing unscathed? It looked to be unlikely as he was rebuked by God. Then if that is the case, does it show that no matter how godly a person is, no one can pass the tests from God?

Job had ten grown children. What did they do to deserve death? If Job suffered because he lost ten children, what about their families? What did their families do to deserve the pains of losing their father or mother? What about Job’s wife? Was she as strong in faith as Job to be able to withstand such grief? No wonder she says, “Curse God and die!” Since she had already lost all her children, she is probably numbed beyond belief. When her husband was struck with such gruelling physical pain, she probably couldn’t bear to see her husband suffer so much.

Was God testing Job? Did Job needed the test in order to find out if he was faithful to God or was it the case where God was testing Satan to prove to Satan that Job was a faithful servant no matter what happened to him? Was the test the result of Satan’s skeptical challenge to God? Or did God intend to test Job all along? If Job was the one who was being tested, why take the lives of his children? If test was for Satan’s benefit, then why cause so much suffering to Job?

I know I have too many questions! Usually when I get so distracted by these questions running around in my mind, I try to refocus myself by turning to the last chapters of Job and let God speak again to me, so that I can catch a tiny glimpse of His glory. Then, at the end of all these questions, I find myself sharing Job’s awe as he declared: (40: 4, 5):

“I am unworthy-how can I reply you?

I put my hand over my mouth.I spoke once,

but I have no answer-twice,

but I will speak no more.”

Joan from A conversation with a woman mentioned the other day that a dream woke her up laughing. For years, I have had different nightmares. Sometimes I would be fighting with my own brother, sometimes it would be some other terrible episodes. Usually I wake up screaming or yelling out. Sometimes I would be soaking wet in sweat. Several times I had even gone to the extend of punching or kicking my pillows. Once or twice my wife had got in the way of these nightmarish fights. Each time though, when she would put her hand out and her touch would calm me down just before I awoke, heart pounding…

These dreams have not occured much these days, not since I began my therapy. There was only one episode a few days ago, on a Sunday afternoon, while taking a nap after a very tiring weekend. I yelled out, and awoke with a start to feel my muscles in the small of the back twitching. I was at just then dreaming that someone was either punching or kicking me right at that spot and I yelled out in anticpatory pain…

But, several weeks ago I had a strange dream. In it I was in some kind of classroom and I was sitting at the back (which is quite unusually as I usually sit in the front of the class or at church or at conferences, etc even though I hate it). The teacher looked very much like my boss. A few days before that we just had a rare company meeting, which turned out to be a one-way traffic lecture/monologue, and in the dream it was a similar kind of incessant lecture taking place. I blogged a little more about my boss here as well, in a different context. Back to the dream. She was teaching something and I was being a clown in that class. I made the rest of the class crack up. My boss was visibly distressed and paused to sigh aloud several times, and I was goinon on making everyone else laugh. Then, I started to crack up myself. I was having such a good time, that I was actually chuckling in my sleep and that woke me up. My wife, who is an incredibly light sleeper, also awoke and we looked at each other. She smiled and asked why I was laughing. I told her my dream, and she said, “Your must be recovering quickly! That’s the first time you’ve ever laughed yourself awake!” Have you ever done that - laugh out loud in your dreams?