A few weeks ago, the pastors at my church taught on the primacy of forgiveness in the life of a community of believers. Forgiveness is the underpin of positive, vibrant and affirming relationships. For several weeks, the leaders and pastors led us through several teaching sessions on this important lesson.

First and foremost, God has forgiven us of all our sins. Through Christ’s death on the cross, He has purchased forgiveness for all of us. We are all free from guilt and shame. We are all free from God’s eternal wrath. We are all free from judgment and we are all free to enjoy full grace in Christ. All we need to do is to accept this free gift of forgiveness.

Next, we need to be willing to ask for forgiveness from, and be humble towards, one another. We need to be vulnerable to each other and be willing to seek forgiveness from one another in a transparent manner. This attitude is the key to tranforming and intimate relationships.

Third, we need to understand what it means to forgive one another. We need to understand that Christ’s forgiveness has been extended to each other and therefore, we need to be Jesus to one another and extend the grace of forgiveness in all of our relationships. This enables us to enter into deep, trusting and affirming relationships with one another.

Finally, we must be willing to let go of all those who have hurt us intentionally or unintentionally. This includes our parents, dead or alive, as well as people in the past who have wronged us and who have hurt us. We must let them go, for if we do not, we will only carry those hurts and wounds with us. When we do not forgive those who have wronged us we not only hold their wrong acts against them, we entrap ourselves in the vicious cycle of unforgiveness and continued hurt. If we do not let go of our past, we are unable to fully be transparent in our present relationships.

As I listened to the series of messages, I resonated with each. I searched myself and could honestly say to myself that I have done all that. Yet there was an ache in me and I couldn’t understand what it was. As I prayed and reflected on the messages further over the ensuing days, it dawned on me. I was very quick to accept God’s forgiveness, and to seek others’ forgiveness of my wrongs. It was also very easy for me to forgive others, and to release those who have wronged me of accountability and judgment. I forgave others very easily.

One thing I could not do for a long time was to forgive myself. So often, I found myself reflecting on so many of my past sins, shortcomings, foolishness, foolhardiness, stupidity, tacklessness, and on and on. I was overly self-critical and refused to let myself off the hook. When I finally realized how paralizing this was, and how it was stifling me and robbing me of the abundant life that Christ has already given me, and how it was grieving the Holy Spirit, I repented and sought God’s grace, mercy, and strength to give grace to myself and to accept God’s full forgiveness of my sins. It was then that I realized that I never ever accepted God’s forgiveness if I don’t forgive myself. And if I don’t forgive myself, my forgiveness of others, and my acceptance of their forgiveness of me will not be complete.

And when I finally did, I was free not only of my own judgmental and critical spirit against myself, but I also found that I was on the road to recovery from my stresses and depression. I finally learned what it means to be a child of God, and what it means to enjoy His grace, mercy and love.

I was distraught. Something was troubling me. I can’t remember exactly what now - it was a long time ago. What I do remember was sharing with this sister in Christ one Sunday morning after a church service about my situation. She listened empathically and then opened the Bible to share a passage of Scripture with me. It was from the book of Exodus chapter 3. She read the passage out loud:

The LORD said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey-the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”

She highlighted to me the four things this passage tells us about God ’s response to His people’s prayers. He sees their misery… He hears their cries… He cares about their suffering… and He comes to rescue… I was encouraged about God’s active response to His people’s prayers. Although I now can’t remember what I was distressed about at the time, I do remember that I felt a deep sense of relieve as if a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders, upon realizing that the God I worshipped is one Who actively engages Himself with me.

This passage has impacted me quite a bit over the years. And I have reflected much about its message. I am encouraged of God’s reassurance of His love, knowledge, compassion, and power. This passage says it all. When we pray and cry out to God, we do not do so in a vacuum. He says He sees the reason for our prayers. He hears our petitions. He shares our feelings. And He comes down to act on our behalf. To rescue us.

Then one day I was asked to teach at church on the topic of God’s Sovereignty, Omnipotence and Providence. Big words. I started with my theology texts, moving on to the concordance and Bible commentaries and started thinking about these exalted topics. My meditations led me back to this passage, and then it was as if a light bulb went on. More light a spot light, actually.

Verse 10 in the passage says, “So, now go. I am sending you…”

It became clear to me. When we pray, God comes down to interact with us. He comes to commune with us. He comes to be with us in our situation. Not just be with us. He wants to be God in our situation. He says, “I am with you; therefore, Go.” So, prayer and God’s answer to our prayer is about entering into God’s heart and being ready for Him to enter into ours in a mysterious way to transform us.

So often we think of prayer as God transforming circumstances, others, situations, governments, demons, and everything else outside of us. Yet, prayer is one of the ways God uses to focus on us, and He is more interested in working in us. We say, “Lord, give us a job, give us a wife/husband, give us good fortune, give us…” He says, “Son/Daughter, what can I do in you?” We ask… seek… knock… and He says, “Here is the Holy Spirit. Myself. Let’s talk.”

You see, prayer is not just about asking God to do or to give. It is not so much asking God to do it on our behalf but to enter into God’s work in and through our lives as we enter into His life and work. In my series on God’s Sovereignty, Omnipotence and Providence, I used this passage to illustrate these grand theological ideas. I ended that section with these words, “When you get on your knees, you better be ready to get on your feet.”